I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
