His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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