They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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