I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I can't turn off my feet"
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
