he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
