Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
