I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
