...so i touched it.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
