So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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