i just had sex bonerless
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
