I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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