I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Just high enough for therapy.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
