Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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