Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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