i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize