I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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