So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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