Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
