hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize