Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
