He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
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