I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
