So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
