idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize