I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
