i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
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