I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
