yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Did I show you my penis last night?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
