I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
