i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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