the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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