Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
