Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
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