I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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