i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
