We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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