hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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