Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
