Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
