If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
