Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
