VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
