it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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