Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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