she looked like the bat from fern gully.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
