You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
