I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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