So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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