We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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