we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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