Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
