I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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