It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
