Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
