There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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