so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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