I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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