At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
