dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
