There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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