Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
It's rum buckets o'clock
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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