I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
