My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
