Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
