8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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