I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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