Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
